*Even if you count Lucien’s parents as Kingsley and Molly’s biological “parents,” Lucien both knew them and killed them, taking them all clear out of contention.
Honourable mentions:
Orym. The one who first made us think, is Chetney _____’s dad? Alas, we know from EXU that Orym’s biological dad went by the name “Tarrintel” - that is not to say that it was not, perhaps, an alias of Chetney’s once upon a time, but it would hardly be consistent branding for C-Pop Industries.
Scanlan. While we know that Scanlan’s father was not in his life, Scanlan did at least know enough about his father to say that his name was “Vicou.” Again, it’s possible that this is another Chetney alias, but be honest, can you really see Chetney ever going by the name “Vicou”? Would also be very awkward with Number 1 on this list…
And now, on to the rankings!
4. Yasha. Does not remember her biological parents, and it’s not impossible that Chetney might have swung by southern Xhorhas in his travels. On the whole though, I’d give it worse odds than the other names on this list.
3. Bertrand. International man of mystery Bertrand Bell is so enigmatic that at one point, it was even speculated that he was the Lord of the Crossroads over in Vasselheim. He does appear to be fully human, but it would be mildly funny if he “exited” the story right before his father came in, which is why he’s higher than Yasha.
2. Fjord. Who’s to say that his other biological parent wasn’t a half-orc who had a great night or two with Exandria’s best woodworker?
1. Pike. We actually don’t know terribly much about the Trickfoot family, or Pike’s parents. What we do know is that at some point, Pike’s parents left her with her cousins and went to Wynandir. Now would Chetney do a thing like that? Hard to say. There’s nothing saying that Pock O'Pea is his birth name - he could mayhaps have been born a Trickfoot who, say, got in really hot water over in Tal'Dorei and had to flee to Wildemount?
In conclusion, Critical Role has spent a great deal of time pondering the all-important question, “What is that mother’s name?” However, it is perhaps time that we all start asking, “What is that father’s name?” and maybe even, “Are you my freaking dad?”
in north vancouver, there is a big pile of bright yellow sulphur. it’s a byproduct from tar sands from alberta, and is shipped off to be made into fertilizer and other things. it’s been there for ages and will almost certainly continue to be there for ages as well.
there is another, similar sulphur pile in port moody (20 or so km east of the north vancouver pile), from the same source and shipped off for the same purpose. it’s less “one big pile” and more “two long piles side by side”.
the first one has been listed as “big yellow sulphur pile” on google maps for ages, while the port moody one didn’t have anything…
until recently, when someone changed the site name to “bigger yellow sulphur pile”
ALT